told me about how shitty people are was absolutely true.
Dad never had many friends. He said it was because every friend he
ever had let him down. I can't say I blame him for feeling that way.
The dissonance between the man my father raised me to be and the
world I find myself living in today is an insult to all I understand.
I was raised - perhaps trained is a better word - to play by the rules,
never cheat, always tell the truth. When I was caught in a lie his
punishment was swift, at times severe, and always relentless.
Respect, like integrity, mean a great deal to me. I'm not
without sin, but I strive to conduct myself with integrity
because what others think about me matters in this life.
Maybe that's why I find it so hard to tolerate people who
don't give a flying fuck what anyone thinks of them,
even when everyone thinks they're a monster.
Many years ago I read that cannabis should be legalized
because it's a self-punishing drug. Thank you asshole, for
reminding me what an enormous waste that habit really is.
More friendships have been destroyed and families torn
apart by damaged people desperately seeking solace in
a deal that was too good to be true from the start.
Thank you for justifying my paranoia, for reinforcing my
belief that everyone I meet is out to do me in. It was always
so, all the way from kindergarten to college,
betrayal after betrayal,
terror upon terror
until I no longer
Thank you for showing me
what a fool I've been.
Now, please go away.